Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Note that I did not name this CRACKHEAD, because I am FAR from that. I think someone might call me a crackerhead, having made these. Crackers are what I'm talking about. No, they're not water crackers. What a stupid fucking name for crackers, anyways. MMMhhh. .. Crispy Water . . . Doesn't that sound scrumptious! Sorry, but I gotta have a little somethin' more when I'm noshing on crackers (usually with cheese).

These Crackers definitely fit into that. Yeah, people are probably gonna freak out and say, "You made these?" Sandra Lee, you better run for the trees! Cuz I bet her cracker recipe would be brushing butter on top of store-bought crackers and dipping into meatoloaf seasoning mix.

From All Recipes; Their website kicks ass, by the way. One of the reasons I love that site so much is the reviews for the recipes. Sure, it may look good, and might sound easy, but how is it really? I want to know about that kind of shit. I think it's hilarious when people totally rip up someone elses recipe.

Whole Wheat Crackers


  • 1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour
  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 cup water
  • salt for sprinkling


  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. In a medium bowl, stir together the whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, and 3/4 teaspoon salt. Pour in the vegetable oil and water; mix until just blended.
  3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough as thin as possible - no thicker than 1/8 inch. Place dough on an ungreased baking sheet, and mark squares out with a knife, but don't cut through. Prick each cracker with a fork a few times, and sprinkle with salt.
  4. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until crisp and light brown. Baking time may be different depending on how thin your crackers are. When cool, remove from baking sheet, and separate into individual crackers.
I did end up baking my crackers a bit longer than suggested. Some of the thicker pieces were still kind of bready when I baked it for the suggested time. I will also roll these out thinner next time. You can use a pasta machine to get these totally even. But I think the un-evenness of hand-rolling it out lends a more interesting texture.

I also added 1/2 tsp onion powder to the flour and mixed that in before I added the liquid.

Vary the toppings if you like. I bet garlic powder would be good, and sesame seeds would probably kick-ass! Imagine how good "everything" homemade crackers would be!!!

These will blow any store-bought cracker into the water!!!
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Anonymous said...

You rule! These will definitely be making an appearance at our house.

mamak said...

Yummy! making them here too.

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