Thursday, March 24, 2016

Capturing My Grief

Well, I've been hiding out away from my blog so that I can raise my family.   I am back now, with a new blog name and hopes to share more of my creative life with you and to connect with more of you!

In 2012, we had our second son, Cole.  He's 3 now, big brother to Alexander, who we lost at 17 weeks gestation last June.  It's been a hard journey, and I'm so grateful for the friends who have stuck by my side.  Pain and sadness still seeps thru me, and I am constantly learning how to just deal with it.  It's hard to connect with people in difficult times, but inside their heart, those who have lost still ache for support from others.  My story is heard not only thru words, but in the art I create.  Throughout all of my journey, my sewing machines have kept my heart in check.

During my recovery, which is still ongoing, I had the opportunity to make and create some beautiful works of art.

A woman in Australia, named Carly Marie lost her son and has been an avid supporter in the baby loss community.  Her devotion to healing, love, and nurturing was perilous in my survival.  Her project Capture Your Grief opened my heart to so many aspects of grief.  Each day during October, a new theme occurs, with an opportunity to take and share pics of what is meaningful to us.  I chose to quilt these themes. 

 We began with the sunrise.

This one is about intention.  Setting your mind to make something happen.  Push through. Seek the light through the darkness and walk with it.

Empathy.  To hold space for those who need your being with them.  Not to heal, or cure or solve problems, but to sit and allow time and space to hold still.  To allow vulnerability.

 This represented each of the 3 pregnancies I've lost.  One at 8 weeks, another at 7, and Alexander at 17 weeks.

I wasn't able to complete the month, as with each new quilt, whirlwind of emotions would flood my mind, leaving me in a much worse state of mind.  It didn't heal me at the time and was extremely difficult to endure.  Looking back there are no regrets in the art I've created. Like peeling the scab from a wound, it hurts and exposes your body to more agony, with the hope of new skin forming, protecting ourselves once again.

I hope to share more of my creations with you all as time will allow!

Thanks for listening!
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1 comment:

Shannon said...

What a nice surprise to see a blog post again, Justine. Your writing, reflections, artwork and creativity are always inspiring. I admire that you took on the "Capture your Grief" challenge, and am proud that you used your art to help work through aspects of the loss of Alexander. You created so much beauty out of so much pain. <3 Always sending you love and healing vibes. XO

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